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I was up crying all night, trying to figure out what to do.  But they didn’t give a
damn!  Just kept on teasing me, laughing at me, calling me names, talking
‘bout how stupid I am for getting pregnant by some damn color me Black
Senator, who ain’t lobbying for nothing but pussy.   How they ain’t goan buy
my baby no diapers.  Ain’t goan baby sit.   My baby ain’t goan have nobody,
cause the Senator’s wife goan kill my ass.   Just all kinda mean hurtful shit!  

I sat up in my bed and held my pillow in my hands, both sides wet like the size
of my face.  Then I looked over at the window and saw the sun creeping
through the crevices of my curtains, revealing little particles of dust floating in
my room.  Like um gonna clean that shit soon!  I ignored the dust and its bad
health consequences, but I couldn’t ignore the truth biting at my heels.  I had
made a mistake telling the bitch squad about my pregnancy.  There was a
tainted mixed reaction.  Somebody said, “Congratulayshons!”  Somebody
said, “Humph!”   Somebody said, “Well, what the fuck then!”

All I remember is asking what I should do about it.  That’s when all the
madness started.  If ever you were afraid of secrets getting out, you know the
ones you tell your best, best friends not to tell nobody.  And you threaten their
lives if they so much as breathe a word.  And they breathe a word all over
every where till what you actually said is so mixed up in the “ghetto press,” it’s
impossible to figure out whose secret it was in the first place.  If this is you,
and I know it could be, then you know how I feel right now.  

For instance, if Michael Jordan, NBA basketball hero, Michael Jordan, stood in
your face and told you that one of his boys was on the DL.  That’s down low
for homosexuals for the ones who are scared to come out.  You’d believe him,
right?   After all, even if it was a dirty joke, which only he could get away with
and still keep his friends, why would Michael lie?   You feel that, that’s what I’
m going through. Only it’s deadly!  And mines ain‘t even a lie, it’s the damn
truth!  It just got out the wrong way.

Donna, this girl I’ve known since I was five, just a lying stankin’ hoe.  She
make six figures, light skinned, long black hair, think she the black Farah
Fawcett or some shit.   All she do is smile and show those $500 pearly whites
she keep buying every three months.   I been making sure she gets a slice of
cherry pie every rare blue, blue moon we go to lunch, hoping to God to stain
that bitch a bit.  I know it’s God’s job to judge.  But here lately, I’ve been doing
a real good job right there on the spot.  You probably think um hating too, but
let me tell you who this bitch is.

She, first of all, fucked my daddy!  Not my real daddy, my step daddy.  So you
know I didn’t care, but my momma did!  When we was kids, she was always in
his face smiling.  In high school, she was always thanking him for something,
Thank you for holding the door for me Mr. Patton.  Thank you for smiling at me
Mr. Patton.  Thank you for looking my way Mr. Patton.  Thank you for the
Time Mr. Patton.  Oh Jesus, shut up bitch!   So I can thank you for that.  
Anyways, my momma was like, “Stop bringing that damn girl here!  Swear to
God I’m gonna kill her, if she don’t leave my man alone!”  She had a point,
Donna was famous for Titts & Ass costumes.   My momma said she was
raised by mad whores from Funky Town, Mississippi, which to my mom means
the ghetto in the south.  She came over to our house one day. I had to tell her
to go change her damn clothes.   She had on a sweater that was showing her
nipple hairs.  And her pants were so tight, if she were to bend, we’d suddenly
know all her business.   Momma really, really hated that girl.  

Well sho nuff, when momma and my step daddy got divorced.   Donna was the
first one to tell me and everybody else about it.   “Old Patty Pat’s available
now, ya’ll,” she said twirling her index finger with some damn double mint gum,
shaking her ass from side to side, making a dance about it.   “I just wanna
thank him for all he’s done.  You’d don’t mind do you, Tina?”   Oh wait, let me
catch my breath!   Okay, na, na, hold me back!   Hold me back! I had the urge
to kick her ass!  I don’t even know why we friends.  Oh that’s right, she makes
six figures.  Networkin’s a bitch.

Anyways, so my momma was at the Motel Six with my step daddy’s ex-boss,
they was coming out, and my step daddy and Donna was going in.  My
momma said she just jumped that hoe.   My momma said if Tony, that’s my
step daddy’s ex-boss, hadn’t pulled her off of her, she’d’ve been dead.   I
couldn’t believe it myself.   I was hoping she was playing when she said that
shit about fucking my step daddy.   But noooo.   And I ain’t playing, my momma
didn’t have one scratch, so I knew she kicked her ass for both of us.  Momma
said my step daddy, Hank, he was just standing there like a damn statue.   A
fucking statue! Imagine that.  He just didn’t do nothin’.  

The police came and arrested my momma.   She was calling me and my
brother to bail her out.   How fucking ever, this was get your freakin’ fuck on
Friday like every Friday is, for everybody that’s grown and sexy and non-
abstinent.  ‘Cause me and my man, (no, not the Senator, this was somebody
else back then) and my brother and his girl was busy getting our freak on.  
Phone calls went to voice mail!  Tony had to bail my momma out.  When I
finally checked my messages I had about ten desperate pleas for help.   
“Damn it girl, if you don’t answer this phone!   Girl answer this mother fucking
phone!   See you goan do me like that huh,” and on and on and on.  My
brother said, she told him if he didn’t answer the phone, she was goan cut his
thang off.   He was mad, said his cell phone kept vibrating on the dresser
making his girl think other hoes was calling while they was having sex.  Notice
I didn’t say making love, ‘cause they just fucking.  But she don’t know it yet.  
He she kept looking over his shoulder talking about, “What’s wrong wit yo
damn phone!”   Oooh, he was so mad.  When I told him what happened, he
said, he was goan fuck Hank ass up!  Not for trying to get with Donna, but for
making momma break his mood.   He said that nigga was always causin’ him
pain, and now he’s about to pay up big time.  
Bitch Squad
Bitch Squad
Bitch Squad