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(Private Thoughts)
An Intimate Look at Suicide
Don’t ask, if you already know.  
Where is grace, if not within?  
Pain is the pathway to glory.   
God is always watching.   
Sinners sin for fun.   
Seek love for peace of mind.  
Terminate disappointment.  
Make it happen.   
Do or Die.
Abstinence is a test to be failed!   Ask anyone who’s searching for
love.  Temptation constantly knocking at your door, the carnal
force is not easily subdued.  

Driving with a small hand towel rubber banded around my foot as
blood drips to the floor is one way to die.  Just think, now the
beige interior imitates the fall scenery of leaves outside my
window, somewhat anyway.   Shears of pain run through my foot
and up my right leg.   Why not stab yourself in the driving foot
accidentally on purpose? And tell everyone you didn’t mean to do
it.   (Oh, and I hope you don’t care about how I look, in terms of
my life being important to you.  What if I’m “Butt Ugly” with
boogars running from my nostrils, and fat dripping from my beauty
marks.  Tell me you care, about my life that is.  Tell me my race,
religion, sex or financial status doesn’t matter.  I am a fellow
human being, you know.)  

The blade was there to serve its purpose.  It was entertaining my
thoughts of suicide, becoming more tempting by the minute.   
Suddenly, one too many tears blinded me and my elbows missed
the table and tipped the blade into a spin and it spiraled down into
my foot, at least two inches of it.

It would have had to happen this way. ‘Cause I couldn’t do it!  It
wouldn’t have been fair to the children.  And God would have
slapped me in the face, now wouldn’t He.  Somehow, sometimes it
doesn’t matter to me!   Sometimes, I just don’t give a damn!
Satisfy my enemies!  Disappoint my grandchildren!   Shock my
lovers!
Private Thoughts